Friday, May 27, 2005

My Sweet Buttercup Cream Pie

I mailed your card the other day.
I hope it makes it on time.

I also sent a little piece of the beauty of Australia home with Mom and Dad.

I was informed the other day that I have never mentioned you or the baby specifically in my blog.

"Really?" I said, with a faked sense of surprise

I know I haven't mentioned it.

How can I mention something in an casual way that I feel so intensely every day that I am here.

And to focus too long brings the ache for home back so quickly.

I haven't been able to write about it.
It's not because it doesn't cross my mind.

Some nights I'm kept awake for hours just daydreaming about coming home and giving you a huge hug and kissing your belly.

It soon becomes one of my only thoughts of home

Now connected to returning to one of the only people in this world that understands why I needed to come here in the first place.

I remember that night almost three years ago so clearly.
Slowly climbing up the attic stairs to sit on your bed with you.
To tell you everything and to cry in your arms.
You were the beginning...the first person on the other side

There's irony in all of this.
I'd give anything to share in your celebration, and yet I wouldn't be here right now, thousands of miles away, if it wasn't for you.

I still remember the look on Jeff's face when you and Pat announced you were pregnant.

I looked over at him and we were both smiling/shocked/happy, but there was a little glint of fear in his eyes.

Smart man.

He knew.

He knew right away that you were the one person in this entire world who had the power to make me rethink my plans for the trip.

And it would have just taken a few words from you.
Please stay, and I would have.

But that's the beauty of who you are.
You knew all this.
And yet you never asked.

We cried and you kissed me and said you'd see me August 1st.

I will be home soon.

But while gone, I have missed out on some incredibly important milestones in the life of my dearest friend.

Happy 30th Birthday my Moonshine Sista.
I love you.

Tonight I'll dream of being there.

Joking with Pat and laughing with you as we talk in that voice we always use

You'll look so beautiful, and I'll reach over and feel little Baby Sully kick.

I'll watch as you blow out the candles and I'll smell the smoke.

Thank you for giving me the strength to take this victory lap.
I'll meet you at the finish line.



At 5:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mary, nicely done that post was great. I can see your sister right now sitting at school in front of her computer screen balling right now. We miss you and will miss you again tonight. The chocolate martini won't taste as good without you around but I will have one anyways and pretend you are there like old times. Hi to Jeff and be good

At 6:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a beautiful post Mary-I'm sure this made Krissy's 30th birthday! When I spoke to her this morning she already had excitedly announced to check your blog that she heard from you already and was told to check the blog that there may be something on her-I know she was dying to get to school to read this and the first person is right-she's probably crying in front of the students! She loves you very much and seems so proud of you for taking this adventure. August 1st is right around the corner-those two months will fly by and soon enough you'll see your friends and family. Enjoy the rest of your trip with Jeff! Tammy

At 7:43 AM, Blogger KrissySullivan said...

Well Chick, Pat and Tammy were right...I have been bawling in front of my computer screen. Hearing your voice this morning was the greatest present I could have gotten...and now this! I miss you more than words can describe but I have never been more proud of my Moonshine. I'll be there August 1st at 1am to greet my favorite person and drive her home!
Enjoy these last two months...take it all in and bring it home to share every detail with me.
I love you!! Krissy

At 8:01 PM, Anonymous Missy said...

oh i am crying my eyes out! you two are both amazing! Love you,cant wait to see you!
Love, Missy

At 8:39 AM, Anonymous Jay said...

i think that was the most beautiful tribute to one's sister i have ever read. You are blessed to have such an amazing woman in your life!
Krissy was just telling me that she can't wait to be at the airport at 1 in the morning, pregnant as a house, to greet you when you come home.
Love you, Love, Jay

At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok that was just mean- to make so many people sob!! beautiful!Think of us on Friday, June 17th as all of us aunts and cousins throw a shower for Krissy at my house. We will miss you teribly but you will be there with us in our hearts as we heckers smell all those good baby gift smells but don't forget you will be there for the only smell that counts-baby Sully.
I love you Emmie!
Love, Aunt Meem

At 6:47 PM, Blogger Mary said...

I'll definitely be there in spirit Aunt Meem...and please remind my Mom to bring my shower present for Krissy on June 17th...don't want her to forget she has it.


Post a Comment

<< Home